The Non VDay Valentines Horror story
by FWvidChick
Summary: A story about the horror that happened when supposedly trying not to celebrate Valentines day. Clois with some Chlollie. Sequel to A Christmas Party err 'Faisco' to Remember.
1. A not so Rosy reveal

**A/N: **This story like the Christmas one was written/started before the episode _Fortune_ (and posted on k-site forums) So it will be AU in some respects from the events in that ep, such as Chlollie being married already.. other differences may be noticed.

**Prologue:**

_Lois and I have a history with a certain day going awry. Valentines day is one of those days we want to celebrate but don't or try not too. One year, Lois ended up wearing red kryptonite laced lipstick, kissed me, and if you know my history then you know the rest._

_Another year, I ended up breathing in some form of Kryptonite and causing others, including Lois to do as I wished. While that sounds like a good thing, its not._

_Our first year of marriage we kept it simple, we gave cards and ate chocolate ice cream, second year we tried to branch out of our comfort zone and as Lois says 'embrace it'. But that ended in a disaster with Lois coming home from the restaurant wearing our dinner._

_Third year, we tried dinner at home. It worked out really well, till Lois got food poisoning because I had the bright idea of picking up our dinner rather then cooking it myself._

_Then comes our fourth Valentines as a married couple, which if history has taught us anything could have been avoided. But I was determined to give her the best non v-day valentines experience I could._

_I made the mistake of talking to Oliver about it. Its not that I am blaming him, not his fault , but if I hadn't of opened my mouth to him then perhaps it never would have happened._

_It came into our heads to take Lois and Chloe on a getaway and just have fun. Nothing overly romantic so it qualified for the non part of the non v-day. No cupids or roses but fun, relaxing, and private time to ourselves._

_Oliver booked a cabin, a really nice one with plenty of room for the four of us. It had white water rapids near by, rock climbing, and was decently secluded._

_With how I've had to keep secrets for years I thought keeping this one would be easy, it wasn't. I was so excited and nervous, nervous because as much as I knew Lois would like the idea, she would freak with it being so close to valentines day._

_I almost ended up mentioning it too soon, timing was everything. In order to get her __to agree I had to work the Kent magic. After a while I think she knew I was up to something, she even asked if I was planning on proposing again._

_I wish I had gone with the second proposal idea, would have turned out far better._

❣ _Chapter One: A not so Rosy reveal ❣_

_It was nearing the big day and I needed to tell Lois about it. She was going to figure it out on her own sooner or later, especially as I had talked to HR and arranged for the time off. Lois would also need a long enough warning to make sure all her assignments were in, which meant I had to make my move and tell her._

_There isn't that many things I am scared of but Lois can at times be one of them. Knowing she knew I was keeping a secret was making me a nervous wreck, I had spilled coffee on myself in the morning the day I decided to bring it up. She had been going on about an assignment then switch subjects, as she is prone to do, and asked me if I had talked to Oliver recently. That's when my control went on the fritz and I suddenly found coffee down the front of my shirt. If there was any thing more that was a dead give away I don't know what it is. I pulled my extra shirt out and gave my scowling wife the 'meet me in five in the storage room' signal._

_Some say there is safety in numbers, this is not true when it comes to the wraith of my Lane. It was far better to handle it in private then to have her blow her top in front of our co workers._

If he hadn't known better Clark would have wondered if Lois had sold her soul, because there was just something unreal with how she could make him feel. One moment he was the man of steel and the next putty in her hands. Well, figuratively speaking of course..

Tongues, lips, hands explored, competed and enticed, while various other body parts were intertwined as they were caught up in passion against the storage room wall. Touching, feeling, caressing and groping.. it was a game of hid and seek, tag, and whatever else they could make of it.

Time and reason had been forgotten and it wasn't till they broke apart to breath that it hit Clark why they were even there.

_"This wasn't what I was intending when I asked for you to meet me here" _he ran a hand through his hair, marveling out how this woman had it in her to make him sweat. Lois Lane kryptonite.

_"This is usually what happens when we meet here."_ Lois responded breathlessly, looking quite pleased.

_" Lois!.. you didn't even let me finish my sentence before you jumped me.."_

Grinning up at him, Lois ran her hand slowly over his chest, _"You didn't exactly complain.."_

_"Its a little hard when you do that!"_

_"Well now you know how I feel.. I couldn't resist.. Why do you have to be like this?" _she asked exasperated.  
_  
"Like What?"_ he was genuinely confused, she had jumped him when he had something important to ask her, and she was acting like it was his fault! Why was he even surprised?  
_  
"This.."_ she pulled away and she waved an hand up and down indicating all of him _" everything..I come in here.."_ now buttoning up her shirt , glancing at him as she did, _"not intending to attack, mind you, but then you just stand there in those glasses and that suit, all stuttery and I just melted."_  
_  
"I don't stutter."_

_"You do stutter Smallville and its cute.. well sexy and that's the problem!"_  
_  
"..and I wouldn't call that melting more like a physical assault!"_

She put a hand on her hip and smirked _"Assault? You didn't resist!"_

Clark shook his head, as much as he would love to continue the banter he needed to get this vacation reveal done, for some reason he was more nervous at the moment then he had been when revealing he was the blur.

_"Lois! can we please focus on why I asked you here?"_

_"Only if you button up, cause honestly how am I to focus when you have that skin tight suit on peeking out at me .. its just all sooo.."_ she did a little provocative shimmy and grinned at him. He knew she was teasing him, trying to make him loose focus.  
_  
"You're insatiable.. "_

_"You're irresistible! So deal!"_

_"Lois.. please.. let me say this!"_

Lois made the zipping motion over her lips and leaned against the spare desk which tipped a little at an angle , reminding them both how its wonky uneven legs was their doing. Licking her lips, Lois traded an eyebrow raise with Clark before saying, _"Okay..spill"_  
_  
"What I am about to tell you..um.." O_kay this was harder then it should be, it didn't help with the expression on her face, _".. you may not like."_

She started to open her mouth and he gave her a 'be quiet let me finish' look, Lois settled for pressing her lips together as he continued, _" its just a part of it you may not like.. I really think you'll love it if you just.." _the steel in her gaze was scaring him again. _" Give it a chance.. its a good thing."_

_"Then why are you so nervous?_" she asked glancing at her finger nails then back to him.  
_  
"I just know you might stress about the possibilities..."_ he trailed off as he caught the look in her eye's. He was so screwed.

With one last quiet glance over him,as the pieces fell into place ,Lois pushed off the desk and began, _"Wait! Oh Clark! tell me you didn't?"_

_"Well I..I..I.."_ there was that stutter, though at the moment she wasn't finding it sexy, and he was feeling tempted to just kiss her and pray it would quiet her down, but then he would be fooling himself.

She took a step toward him forcing him to retreat till his back was pressed up against the wall, _"There isn't any other possible thing you could have done, why didn't I see it! I seriously thought.. never mind what I thought. " S_he pointed a finger in his face all but growling. Clark had never felt so vulnerable as he did at that moment, she had gone total pit bull, _"You know we don't do Valentines day! "_

Clearing his throat, he gave her a small smile, _"Its not on valentines day.."_

_"Is it in February?"_

He took a breath as she backed up, _"Uh yes"_, his relief was short lived however.

_"Then it counts!" _she threw her hands up in the air.

_"Lois, your being paranoid!"_

_"Am I Clark, Am I really? do you have to be reminded about the food poisoning, the catastrophe of a dinner the year before, and that was a beautiful dress!"_

He started to nod in agreement about the dress but stopped at the look she gave him, so he switched back to the subject at hand, _"We're setting ourselves up Lois.. we __expect a problem so we get one. "_ She didn't immediately react so he continued, hoping he was getting through to her _"Are we going to allow some sort of V-day curse to ruin a perfectly good get away?"_

Lois rolled her eyes, _"Clark, I am not going anywhere that close to V-day." _then turned on her heel and headed for the door.

It was a split second decision, one he knew he might regret but his determination to secure this getaway with her was just a strong as her need to avoid the horrors of valentines day. Clark super sped in front, blocking her from the door.

Scowling, Lois crossed her arms _"Clark..."_

_"Chloe and Oliver are coming too!"_ he blurted out, pleading with his eye's.

She just continued to stand there, so he added, _"It just happens to be close to V-day"_

_"Clark, its not just V-day that's the problem..you know this!"_

_"Only if we let it.."_

_"Last year it wasn't just the food poisoning. Remember the roses you bought me the week before, someone swiped them from my desk."_

_"Lois..."_

_"Then the day before Valentines how we decided we would just go out to eat for lunch, it wasn't suppose to be anything special just us out but when we got there that car went by and splashed mud all over me."_

_"Lois.."_

_"The year before..the weekend before ..Do I need to go into details on that debacle? "_

_"No.. Lois."_

_"Look Clark. I appreciate the whole wanting to take me out.. getting away would be lovely but I am not going. Even if Chloe and Oliver are coming.."_

_"Lois!"_

_"We'll just end up dragging them into our cupids nightmare and I don't want to have that bad karma on my head..do you?"_

_"Lois please!" _He dropped his head knowing he had failed.

_"Sorry Smallville.."_ she put a finger under his chin, lifting his eye's to meet hers, _" Its so sweet of you but its not happening. Why don't you go be a dear and talk to HR about us taking leave after cupid has flown the coop. I am sure Chloe and Oliver will have far more fun without us, don't want to reign in the newly married couple anyway."_

Sighing, Clark stepped aside, Lois squeezed his hand then slipped out the door. He could hear her take out the reminder of her irritation on the new intern. Poor kid, he had the bad luck of being around whenever something wasn't right.

_"Olson!..What did I say about listening to that woman, she's gonna be the iceberg to your success.. "_ it could have been worse at least she was being a mother hen rather then a demon _"Oh come here, Jimmy..what have I told you? I bark a lot but I'm not going to bite you. Now why don't we have a look at your shots..."_

Clark closed the door, then his eye's. She wasn't mad at him, that was good. Still how was he going to get that stubborn woman out the door and to the cabin.

The idea flashed through his head like the temptation of forbidden fruit. Clark knew he shouldn't even entertain the thought, Lois would kill him, or at the least exercise her detailed knowledge of his anatomy and hurt him.

_Lois and I have an honest relationship but sometimes in order to do whats best for someone you have to keep a secret or two and be tactical. Like a surprise party.. Especially when the woman your doing it for is Lois Lane._

_"Clark I have a to ask you personal question?" _Oliver replied, after hearing Clark's idea on kidnapping his own wife so she would actually have this much needed vacation. He shuffled his papers, listening to Clark's deep sigh as it came over the speaker phone.

Mia placed another set of papers on the his desk and gave Oliver a look. He waved her off and mouthed, _"I will, I will". _Between her and Chloe he wasn't allowed to get away with anything.

_"Sure.."_ Clark practically jumped in his seat when he thought he heard Lois' voice thinking she was coming back into the third floor bullpen, it was a false alarm, just Andrea the opinion columnist.

_" Do you think that its possible for you to be castrated?"_ Mia turned from the office door and raised a brow, shook her head and left.

Clark was still busy on his end being paranoid about Lois returning that it took a moment for him to register what his friend said. When he did he jerked causing his coffee to splosh over the side of the cup, _"What!..why.." _frantically searching for a napkin.

_"Because I seriously think its what Lois will do to you for this, and if it is possible I really don't want to be involved when it happens. Or anywhere near by.."_

_"Oliver! First Lois never would.. _" he refrained from saying all the reasons why castrating him would only drive the woman crazy, _"second..I am counting on you and Chloe to help me get through to her"_ he threw away the napkin soaked with coffee and put his head in his hand.

_"Then why can't Chloe just call and talk to her.."_

_"Because a phone conversation isn't going to work, but Lois will melt once she is there with you two..and we are having a nice time."_

_"Uh huh, you do realize if its not castration it will be something as equally horrible."_

Clark groaned _"Just please can you do your part?"_

_"Yes of course I can. Look Clark, I want this to work too. But seriously man please try and think of an alternative!"_ He signed the papers not wanting Mia to get nasty, the girl could seriously be an issue.

_"Oliver there is no alternatives.. this is the game plan, Lois has been asking and hinting at a vacation for months now. " _this was no exaggeration, three times she had accidentally dropped a brochure or conveniently worked something into a conversation in the last two weeks alone. Always covering with something about a story, but Clark knew better. _" I need to break this idea of the V-day curse anyway."_

_"I agree with you there Clark, but with Lois that's like facing down.. "_ Oliver couldn't think of a appropriate analogy, _"the worst thing we could possibly face.. "_ he finished lamely while handing the papers over to Mia who had came back in the room.

_"Right Clark.. I have one of those ever fun board of director's meetings before a shift so.."_

_"Okay.. See you in a week and stick to the plan!"_

_"Gotcha." _Oliver turned to look at the window of his office at Starcity, thankful that if Clark blew it before they met up, he wouldn't be anywhere near metropolis.

A delicate female hand twisted the pretty blue and red sparkling glass. He wouldn't know what hit him and this time breaking the enchantment wouldn't be enough. The blue and red had a power over him all on their own. A power, that if wielded and manipulated right, would bring Superman down.

Careful research, patient planning and details meticulously worked out. It was all falling into place and she would even have a view this time to his destruction.

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	2. Intervention for the Vday Cursed

❣ Chapter Two: Intervention for the V-day Cursed ❣

_I know I was digging myself into a bit of a hole planning and plotting behind her back, but I had too. In my mind at the time the logic was simple. Surprise my wife, we'll have a good time and this idea of a Valentines Day curse would be put to bed. Lois would get over it, and I'd be her hero on this..even if it meant her being mad for a day. But as I said before Lois Lane is one of the few things that scare me, and I spent the days before the getaway in turmoil. I really wanted her to be happy, and I had learned from experience that when Lois digs her heels in on something that should, and I really mean should be good for her, the best bet is to just drop the woman right into it._

_For example, Lois eating right. She appreciates a home cooked meal and I often cook, and she does too, but when life gets busy as it does, Lois reverts to her diet of Ice cream, donuts and coffee. Quite literally all that she consumes unless I drag her to a cafe and make her order something else. Once on a stake out for one of our articles together, I packed us veggies and fruit. The glares and unflattering words Lois gave me for that rang in my head for hours, but it was worth it. Lois did remark in the end it was for the best._

_This Valentines day was really just a big veggie and fruit salad, that's what I was hoping anyway. What I wouldn't do for the power of foresight._

~ A week before the non V-day getaway ~

Perry White was use to nosy bullheaded trouble making reporters; first he had been one, now he managed them. But Lois Lane took the cake and ran with it, then found a good spot and ate it for all to see. Clark Kent wasn't much better, while not as noticeable as his wife, he had a tendency to be in the right place at the right time while managing to rein in the one woman riot.

Sometimes Perry was convinced the two of them had a perverse joy in pushing each others buttons so they could go to the storage room and make up, something which they both thought he didn't know about. It was one of the things he let slide, as long as it didn't get out of hand.

Right at this moment though he was fascinated by the pair of them standing in his office; Lois ranting and Clark alternating between a look of being flustered and serene calm. If he hadn't known the two of them so well, he would have wondered how in the World Clark survived but he knew better, he also knew that Lois was exactly how Clark liked her. It was always educational to watch the two of them in action,even if it meant being the focus of Lois' anger.  
_  
"Lois its not that bad, you've dealt with worse."_

_"So you are taking his side?"_

_"Its not about taking his side.. He's the boss!"_

She turned and glared at Perry, _"See.. See... Men united. Figures"_, she spat.

Perry refused to react, just sat and watched her which he also knew only made her madder.

_"So not only have you upped two of my deadlines"_, she practically growled then gave Clark a quick sharp glare, _"But I am partnered with HER.. for the fundraiser.. I'd rather have my insides boiled.. "_

_"Lois, I didn't exactly get the best.. "_ he glanced over at Perry before looking back at her, _"the assignment I wanted.."_

_"You still don't have to work with Cat.. "_, she replied continuing to glare daggers at the unmoving Perry.

Finally deciding to end this, Perry leaned forward, _"Lane.. look at it this way. You've been given plenty of notice on the assignment and it's not for weeks yet.. So now you can fully arm yourself for dealing with Cat."_

_"Have you actually been out with her? Do you know what comes out of her mouth? "_ Lois responded back, she didn't care she was being given plenty of notice, she was mad at this moment. _"She actually thought... ",_ Lois gave unpleasant laugh_. "...when Clark and I first got engaged it was because I was pregnant.. that was just the tip of the iceberg in rumours that I've had to squelch"._

Clark furrowed his brows in surprise, _"I never heard that one.."_

Perry raised one of his brows, _"I actually don't hear a whole lot about you Lois, other then most try to avoid you"_ . Saying that to anyone else and they may have been insult. Lois however took it like it was intended and then gave back.

_"Yeah good.."_, Lois looked pleased for a moment before a scowl reappeared on her face, _"because that's exactly the way it should be."_, she then went back to her pacing in front of his desk, _"I work hard to keep Cat under control not just for myself but everyone's benefit. The woman's latest theory is the new Mayor is moonlighting as a hero. I don't know where she gets her idea's from but it's not from this planet"._

Clark pushed his glasses back up the rim of his nose before trying again to reason with her, _"Lois.. be fair, Cat wasn't the only one who was there when.."._

Lois spun around and pointedly nailed a finger into his chest, _"Oh don't you start! "_. she now had him backing up into the filing cabinets. Perry was unsure whether to think Clark was in need of help or if the man was enjoying it. He decided the latter after he thought he saw a smirk play across Clark's face.

_" Are you enjoying this Smallville? Cause seriously..I dunno "_, she looked over at Perry, _"How about.. You add Clark to this assignment? It is a pretty big fundraiser after all "_, she gave a sugar sweet smile.

The slight look of terror that ran through Clark's eye's was all Perry needed. Inwardly amused he gave a straight faced nod to Lois, _"It is.. You're absolutely right Lane. Kent.. You're on the assignment too. I'm thinking between the three of you, we can cover not only the build up, but the individual benefactor's as well. Come to think of it, I'm looking forward to seeing what you three each come up with as far as the moonlighting mayor and his stance on the issue. "_

Pulling out a folder, he slapped it on the desk in front of him, _"Twice now the Echridge has bailed out on recent events, and money isn't flowing where it should... "_. He gave Lois a pointed look,_" I'm thinking he needs some persuasion to talk.. "._

Lois narrowed her eye's at Perry, looking as if she was salivating at the tidbit he just gave her. Turning her attention back on Clark she pressed her body firmly against his, lips barely a breath away from his own as she said, _"I'm up for the Challenge..."_

Clark wasn't to be out done; although Lois was playing dirty, her body press had unfortunately for him caused a reaction. He had to shift himself so as to keep it from being obvious. Pushing his glasses again up his nose, he gave Lois a look, _" SO am I. "_

Lois' gaze flickered downward as Clark tried to hide the issue she caused, _"I can see that"_, she smirked under her breath before turning her attention back to Perry.

Satisfied and feeling slightly like he was watching some sort of foreplay between the two, Perry waved his hand, _"fine.. good.. get out of here.. Oh and Lane.. Don't forget I need those two articles pronto"._

Lois gave another growl and spun on her heel and out the door. Clark started to follow but turned when Perry cleared his throat, "_Thank you"._

_"Hmm.. I think it means we're even again, Clark."_

_"Cat, though...?"_

_" I had to give Lois some sort of bone or she'd have figured it out. Besides, I needed the three of you on it to begin with"._

Clark sighed, _".. You planned that all along?"_

_"Clark, you asked for my help. If you didn't want Lois to catch on to why I upped her schedule, then you have to pay the consequences..Besides I think I'll enjoy watching you compete "._

_"You've become a sick man, Perry"._

_"I've always have been... It was just lost for awhile"._

Clark shook his head and left. Okay, step one of the operation done. The next step.. guilt trip.

~ The afternoon before the non v-day getaway begins ~

Chloe pulled a face at Lois. Mostly because of her own internal battle with feeling guilty in taking part in this plan to get Lois to the cabin, yet knowing that her cousin would be happy once she was there and settled to the idea. To cling to the notion of a Valentines day curse was just silly and limiting. It didn't help Chloe either that Lois was visiting her in Star City to help her pack for her and Oliver because Lois had been told that she was feeling down and needed some cousin time. So not only did she have to listen to Lois try and cheer her up, but also Lois ranting at Clark's recent behavior.

_"I didn't think it was possible but it is; Clark has a become a moper.. an official moper and I don't mean like how it was years ago when he had the Lana sick love blues. But proper moping!"_ She sipped her coffee then went back to folding Chloe's clothes to pack them in the suit case.

_"Well, you did shut him down on his plans. He was trying to be sweet, Lois, and you ruined it"._

Lois scowled at her, _"He was breaking our V-day pact which he readily agreed to. I didn't twist his arm when he said it was probably best that we never celebrate Valentines day again.. and then there he was changing things"._

_"It's not on v-day Lo..cut the guy a break!"_

_"Close enough and the pact included that! He knew this and ignored it. Now he has me feeling all guilty with those crushed puppy dog eye's he keeps giving me. I feel like some sort of tyrant.."._ Lois sat on the bed, _"I really don't want to deal with the curse.. but I so do wish to go out.. Do you realize that it's been months since Clark and I have had any decent alone time.. done something really fun..?"_ Christmas had been fun, just the two of them, they never did Christmas parties anymore. But fireside loving had become quite a daily Christmas break activity, that though was it, otherwise their schedule had been chock full of busy, busy, and more busy.

Chloe shook her head and zipped up the suit case, _"Then stop believing in this ridicules curse and come with us. It's not like you guys can't quickly pack and be there"._

_"I tried to stop believing in the curse.. and each time it came back to bite us.. I really hate February!"_

Chloe wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, figuring it would be more of the latter for them all before they got to enjoy the former. _"Lois, please come with. It would so cheer me up, don't think of it as a romantic get away..it's just the four of us as friends and cousins going out. Oliver said there was no special Cupidities.. just fun."_

Lois raised an eyebrow, _"Cupidities?"_

_"It was his word not mine.."_

_"Still.. that's the best he could do?"_

_"He's an hero slash millionaire, not a reporter.."_

_"Yeah, I noticed and he should keep his words to the board room.. because Cupidities..that's just, wrong!"_

_"Lois, please! .."_

Lois grabbed Chloe's suit case and swung it to the floor, _"Sorry Cuz, but I am sticking to my guns on this. All my instincts are telling me if Clark and I go it will end in tears. I really don't want to drag you and Oliver down that rose covered road of pain with us"_.

Chloe gave her a pouting look. Lois rolled her eyes, _"I know why I am really here, Chlo..I saw it a mile away.. You're not 'down'. You've just been asked by Clark to try and talk me into this. No thank you! I told him we can go after the.." _she grinned and did the quotations signs, _"Cupidities of February were over."_

Grabbing her case, Chloe brought it out to the foyer of her and Oliver's pent house _"Fine! I give up.. no besting Lois lane here.."_.

_"Damn right cuz.. "_.

_Nervous wreck doesn't cover what I was, the desperation to just get this whole thing done with. I felt conflicted, yes I could just wait until after Valentines passed, but then Lois wouldn't get over this fear of hers. I had to conquer it, so despite the overwhelming panic i had for days, I determinedly moved forward putting each step of the plan in motion, although I balked a bit at the end._

_Sometimes the friendship I have with Oliver doesn't do either of us any good. _

~ Mean while at the Kent house ~

_" She is busy helping Chloe pack.. stop worrying, Clark"_

_"I can't.. She is smart, she could figure this out any moment" _He rapidly, but carefully put her clothes in the suitcase, making sure to pack what he knew she liked, then moved for her bathroom items.

Oliver could hear the whoosh of activity over the phone and waited a second before responding_, "The only thing she is gonna figure out is that you're hoping she'll change her mind, which I hope so too..because if you actually grab her and bring her, she is going to be so pissed it won't be funny"_

_"I haven't decided exactly how I am going to do that"_

_"What? Wait, you mean to tell me that you haven't decided on the most important part of the plan, your plan?"_

_"Well, short of knocking her unconscious"_

_"Which is out of the question..", _when Clark didn't immediately respond Oliver felt a panic. He wouldn't would he? _"..It's out of the question? RIGHT?"_

_"Yes! Of course ", _Clark felt a little insulted Oliver even thought he would actually do that, _"I have two options. Just bring her with her thinking we are headed home or I make up some contrived story.. the latter though requires.."_

_"Requires you to do some heavy duty lying..right I gotcha. Still, Clark, you are asking for that castration"_.

Clark glared at the phone as made his way down the stairs, _"Will you quit saying that! Do you have an obsession with the idea of me being.."_, he trailed off and groaned, _"Oliver, what do I do? _"

Laughing, Oliver glanced down the hall from his study, seeing no sign of the girls he continued, _"Be a man, Clark! Take her, swing her over your shoulder cave man style straight to the cabin. At least it doesn't involve lying"_

_"Yes, but that means I spend hours alone with her, an angry Lois, waiting for you two to arrive. I didn't want to be alone with her, Oliver..not at first anyway ..I mean the ultimate goal is to.."_.

Oliver rolled his eye's and sat back down before putting the flustered Clark out of his misery, _" Look Clark, just stroll up to her.. Tell her she is going and pick her up. She will get over it and knowing Lois, she'll like it even if she won't admit it"_

Both men went quiet at the thought, then equally shared a vision of Lois berating Clark. Oliver broke the mental image he had of finding Clark's battered unconscious body, _"Okay You're screwed.. but she will get over it eventually"_

_"How about I bring you two to the cabin first, then bring her there"_.

_"No.. because then she'll know you're going to do a 'surprise' on her. Unless you do that whole stroll up to her scenario."_

Clark glanced at Shelby, the old dog was staring up at him, before responding, _"Oliver, that woman has a power worse then kryptonite.. can you honestly see that approach working"_.

_"No, I guess not"_

_"I am screwed!"_

_"Yes, you are.. I guess go with the lie."_

_Just as I had made up my mind on how to handle Lois, a situation came up that while it seemed was going to interfere it worked to my benefit in the end. Lois got a tip on one of her long term investigations and dragged me along. At least I was saved from having to lie._

_"Smallville..come on, for a guy who can run home and back to metropolis before I even blink, you're moving like a snail"_

_"Lois.. are you sure this was a reliable tip, maybe I should just peer inside."_

_"No, Clark! That cheapens the whole point of investigating if you just power your way through. No, we do this the Lane way, good old fashion spying. "_ She turned to glare at him as they snuck around the corner. _" and yes its reliable..this source has never __failed me yet"_

_"Still doesn't make it safe"_, He grumbled back, when he started to use his x-ray vision he got a slap on the chest for it.

_"I said don't!.. no cheating"_

_"Its not cheating, Lois..How many times have I used it before and you never complained"_.

_"Yes, in times when its been absolutely needed or makes no difference. But I can't exactly write this and say yes..my super powered husband saw with his x-ray vision. No! We need to find the proof the legit way..thank you very much!"_

_"Or superman can help"_

_"Don't you even go there!"_

_"Fine.."_

_"Fine.."_

Clark heard to foot steps coming and pulled Lois behind a couple of large garbage cans, they both wrinkled their noses but didn't take their eye's off the two men that came into view.

_"Dump it.. "_

_"Here are you sure? Won't it.."_

_"Look Jay, the boss put me in charge of this so we're doing it my way"_

_"Alright, you don't have to bite my head off"_

Clark listened to the conversation noticing that Lois was now staring at him he hissed, _"Hope its okay if I use my hearing"_

Her stare turned into a glare, _"Of course..I need to know what they said..I caught dump and bite head off ..the rest I couldn't make out"_, she whispered slow low that only he would have been able to hear her.  
_  
"How convenient you not minding my super hearing.."_

_"Don't you start with me, Smallville",_ she mouthed back.

They both jumped when something suddenly was dumped in dumpsters they were behind. Lois squeak of surprise was covered by the continuing noise of boxes being thrown in.

When the two men walked off, Lois immediately popped up, voice still low, _"Okay.. lets see what's in there", _she gave him the hop to it look.

_"What about the old fashion method of investigation?" _

_"This isn't one of those kind of moments"_.

He rolled his eye's, handed Lois his glasses, then hovered over the garbage can and handed her a box, before rejoining her.

Lois waved her hand in front of her face after handing his glasses back, _"Good grief, what is that smell. I mean I know we're not far from a restaurant but still. That's not rotting food, more like sewage. "_

Clark did have to agree it had a really strong smell, he x-rayed the whole dumpster just to make sure there wasn't a body in it. Once he confirmed it wasn't the source of the smell he looked back at Lois who had gone a little pale. _"Lets hurry this up "_.

Lois wasn't going to argue it, she opened the box up and frowned, _"That's it? ..we came out here for this.. ". _She looked up at him, _"Okay, what did they say?"_

He told her, and they both looked back at the box filled with old newspapers. This time he didn't bother waiting for permission to use his x-ray vision. It was just papers all the way through, he shook his head at her questioning look.

_"Well this has been a great field trip.."_

_"Maybe whatever it is they are hiding is in another box"_ he grabbed several others.

All contained newspapers. Lois sighed, and began to look at the old clippings. Most of them were faded and some were just food ads. What in the world was going on?

Clark turned over a box dumping it on to the ground. They looked through them more closely finally finding what it was that was being concealed. Financial sheets.

_"BINGO"_, Lois said a little louder then she intended, receiving a look from Clark.

_"Lets get the rest and take this home Lois.. "_.

_"Fine by me..I'm so gonna need a shower now"_.

Just as they were about to leave they found the two men standing watching them on the other side of the dumpster, Lois gave Clark a dirty look and mouthed, _"Super __hearing! Hello?"_

_I don't think Oliver will ever believe me. I know Lois did, eventually, but Oliver..._

Chloe leaned her head back and let out a big happy contented sigh. _"This is nice.. no demands, no camera's, no responsibility for five days"_.

_"No tights."_

Laughing, Chloe turned to look at Oliver. _"I thought they weren't tights?"_

_"Their not, but everyone wants to call them that."_

_"I'm not everyone"_.

He smiled back, _"Okay then, No skin tight leather pants!"_

_"That's right"_, she unzipped her jacket, enjoying the warmth then asked, _"Do you think Clark will manage to pull it off?"_

_"What? kidnap Lois..? I'd say its 50/50. Clark and Lois are both so stubborn and more so with each other. I am more curious to know if he does get her here, if either of them will be bruised or both."_

_"hmm... they are a pair and Lois does know where the Krytponite is"_.

Oliver laughed again, _"If they don't come at least it will be us.. and hey look at this", _he nodded to the road in front of them.

Chloe peered, not sure what she was suppose to be seeing, though it was pretty... the forestry Arizona landscape. They had taken a short flight so they only had to drive a few hours to the cabin. The area was very pretty, especially in the setting sun.

_"What?" _

_"It's just us.. No one else. And even better it will just be us or us and them all for four days. No one else."_

Grinning, Chloe got a twinkle in her eye, Oliver caught it, _"Oh..what are you thinking? I know that look, Chloe, and that's a dangerous look"_

She licked her lips, _"I was just thinking that maybe we could take advantage.."_

_"What?..Wait.. you mean here"_

_"Yeah.."_ she slid her hand along his leg. _"Why not.. it will be a new experience"_.

_"Really?.. The mile high club wasn't enough?"_

_"Well, first it's not much of a club membership, Oliver, when it's your plane.. Two, I'd like to enjoy my husband in the back seat of a car, if you don't mind"_

_"Oh.."_, Oliver gave a funny laugh, _"I thought for a second you were.."_

_"I was what.."_

The question never got answered because her phone suddenly went off startling them both. Picking it up she barked. _"What?" _

A few moments later Oliver heard her respond, _"Oh okay. Yeah we are along Route 60. Alright, see you in a minute"._

Glancing at her from the corner of his eye, Oliver asked, not sure if he wanted to know, _"That was Clark..what happened?_"

_"He's bringing Lois now.. says to be ready"_.

_"They're gonna ride with us the rest of the way?"_

_"I guess so"_ ,she gave a big sigh, this one though was not filled with relief, more of a frustration, _"Maybe Lois changed her mind and is willingly coming "_.

_"I doubt it"_.

_"Me too. Oh Gawd I hope she doesn't complain the whole way"_

Oliver pulled over at the sight of Clark. He frowned when Clark landed and realized that he was carrying an unconscious Lois, _"He didn't?"_

_"Didn't what?"_, Chloe frowned too, wondering why Oliver looked like he had suddenly swallowed a pickled onion.

When Clark got to the door, Oliver didn't hesitate to ask, or accuse, _"Tell me you didn't do it?"_

_"Do what?"_, Clark and Chloe asked at the same time.

_"Knock her unconscious.. you said you wouldn't, I mean I know she can be difficult, __but gee, Clark, come on!"_

Clark didn't respond as he put Lois in the back of the SUV, but once he stepped back he glared at Oliver. If Chloe hadn't of known better she would have sworn Oliver was going to burst into flames from the look in Clark's eyes.

_"Nooooo! She got a real tip on a story, so we went out together. Got jumped and in the process Lois.."_ He nodded indicating his wife who was out cold.

_"She got knocked on the head?"_

_"Clark you should have taken her to a doctor, Your x-ray vision doesn't see everything", _said Chloe exasperated, going to sit by her cousin.

_"Again, nooo! "_ Clark shook his head now staring at them as if they were the ones who were alien, _"Why would you even.. Never mind. No, Lois fainted. "_

Oliver gave a bark of laughter, _"Fainted.. Lois? why would she faint?"_

Clark gave a funny look that neither was sure how to read, _"It was the smell I think.. anyway. I took care of the guys but when I approached Lois, her eye's rolled and she dropped"_

_"So you took advantage and brought her to us."_

_"Yeah", _he gave Chloe a 'duh' look, _"I didn't go through the last few weeks for it all to fall through, nor do I want to be with her alone when she wakes"_.

_"So you did knock her out?"_

_"Oliver! "_ Clark climbed into the back seat, as Chloe and Oliver got back in, then continued, _"Would you want to be alone with her when she realizes she has been forced to go? "_

_"No, but now you do realize that she is going to hate all three of us"_.

_"She'll get over it."_

_"Uh-uh.."_

_"Why does it smell a bit like a port-a-potty in here?"_

~ Five or so minutes later ~

As awareness eased back in, Lois realized she wasn't laying in her comfy bed, but feeling the vibrations of what could only be a vehicle. Why was Clark driving?

Opening her eye's, she found Clark sitting beside her, a mixture of fear and worry spread over his face. _Now why did he look like a cornered animal caught in headlights?_

Turning she looked out the window to see tree's. Lots of tree's and a landscape completely not like Kansas. Then she knew. _The slimy, no good ,plotting, tight wearing... _the tirade continued in her mind as she shifted her gaze from Oliver to Chloe then to Clark.

_"CLARK!"_ Pure and utter horror etched in her face.

_"Surprise.."_, he gave her a sheepish smile.

_"CLARK!"_


End file.
